


Genevieve

by whatkindofnameisella



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Critical Role Spoilers, F/M, Pining, c2 ep 95, caleb looks longingly at jester what else is new, critical role ep 95, episode vignette, hey liam obrien im tryna live can u maybe look a little less longingly at laura bailey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:41:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22755682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatkindofnameisella/pseuds/whatkindofnameisella
Summary: “… Genevieve.” She says it quietly, like the word itself loathes to leave her mouth and once it does it leaves a sour taste, and knits her eyebrows together to suggest the same.The Nein talk about names and stories in a jungle. Caleb thinks about Jester's. Spoilers for ep 95.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 15
Kudos: 117





	Genevieve

“What did your mother call you, before ‘Jester’?”

She pauses to scrunch her face and hide in the hunch of her shoulders. “… Genevieve.” She says it quietly, like the word itself loathes to leave her mouth and once it does it leaves a sour taste and knits her eyebrows together to suggest the same. Beau starts to laugh and she looks like a little girl _(Genevieve)_ hiding in the tall stature of Caduceus’ shoulder, shadowed in moss and the thick heat of the air and the hope that a name will not diminish her to who she was when it belonged to her. Caleb knows a little something about that.

“I think it’s lovely,” Fjord says, lazy and sincere (“Genny – “ they all start to quickly tease between giggles while Caleb sits and stares at her shrinking further away under Beau’s pointing finger, “Does your mother ever call you ‘Genny’?”), and yes it’s lovely but Fjord says it like it’s still hers, and it’s not, is it? She’s Jester. _Jester, Jester, Jester_. A name she _chose_. His name is not so much something he chose but a coincidence brought on by fate and a moment in a tavern in Trostenwald where she reached out to take his hand (and that was fate’s doing too, wasn’t it). He tries imagine what name he would’ve chosen had he had the chance but can’t come across one that fits quite like Caleb does anymore. He’s grown too fond of the way she says it.

He is still staring at her with what he is sure is a stupid look on his face and she is still hiding in Caduceus’ shadow with that sour taste gluing her mouth shut and something like pain in her eyes and oh, if he were a better man he would be speaking right now, would be raising his voice over the giggles (“Genny – haha, Genny – “) to tell her that Jester is as wonderful as Genevieve, as wonderful as Marion or Charlotte or any other name as long as she feels that the name belongs to her. If he were a better man he would take her face between his hands and whisper that he would still be hopelessly in love with her no matter what her name was, that he would still kiss her if she was Genevieve and he was Bren, would still stare breathless and bruised at the freckles on her cheeks and her smiling in the sunlight even if neither of them had a name, if all they were was just bodies and words and the ink stains and burn marks on their skin and people caught up in the simple ineffability of being loved by the other. If he were a better man. He’s not.

He settles for staring at her while the pain turns to anger on her face. “I like Jester, okay? Jester,” and she smiles a bit at the saying of it like it’s become hers again, the little girl stepping out of Caduceus’ shadow and fading away as her lips wriggle up into the smallest of grins. 

Jester. Her name is Jester. He looks down and wonders if that’s why she didn’t mind that he used to be Bren after all. 

He looks up and that taste must be stuck somewhere between her teeth because as Caduceus talks to her she can’t seem to meet his eyes. She bites her lip and the pain is still there, just a little bit harder to see _(if he were a better man)_. It breaks his heart a little bit. “Your story,” they say to her, as if they someday might all have one. Where would his start? What would he want people to know? He could be Bren or Caleb or any name or none at all. Something for him to decide. 

Genevieve. Jester. Bren. Caleb. Names and people and stories for them to tell. They go on talking in the jungle heat, and the sourness and pain never quite goes away.

**Author's Note:**

> im really loving the theme of names and identity in this campaign, it's so complex and wonderful and well done! :) watching Caleb react to Jester telling them her childhood name was so lovely, oh my god this man is just full of love, so I had to write something for it. I fell absolutely in love with the name Genevieve while writing this too. do urself a favor and write or type it out a couple of times. wow. it's so pretty. anyways. thank u for reading! yell at me on tumblr! <3


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